Miike's 13 Assassins

Looks really boring.
Last thing I want to see him waste his time on is Generic Samurai Epic 101.
I mean...this might well be a solid film, with stirring action scenes and intently mannered drama delivered by competent actors, but ANY director in Japan could make this movie in their sleep. No sense in wasting Miike's time with it.

Yatterman!

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I absolutely loved every batshit insane second of Takashi Miike's Yatterman.

I mean, how many movies have Abe Sadawo doing both his best Indiana Jones and his best Stranger from Dark City?
Miike's last kids' film was far and away one of the best films he's ever done, and I'm a sucker for old school cheese done right to begin with, so I had high hopes, but Yatterman surpassed them on every level. It's sort of astonishing how much better it is than it actually needed to be. There's a good deal more tonal nuance that I expected, which occasionally threatens to detract from the glorious overkill, but Miike always has another card up his sleeve; the relentless pacing is exhausting, but the exhilarating kind.
I hesitate to call it a kids' film, though; even by Japan's liberal standards, converting your robot from boob machine guns to boob missiles by having it tweak its nipples while moaning "I'm coming" is probably going a bit far. Particularly when the good guy dog robot starts jerking off to this.

I was totally not fucking kidding about trailer day

Goemon. Same director as Chassharn, and this also appears to be very pretty and utterly fail on every other aspect of filmmaking possible. Jesus, is that a lot of terrible fucking acting and writing. (I found the embed code!)

Yatterman. Miike Takashi on a big budget children's movie? Let's hope it's more The Great Youkai War (fucking awesome) than Zebraman (WTF happened?)
So um, neither of these exactly sold me, but they do both look batshit, which always at least intrigues.